It’s hard. It’s really hard. It’s mind-numbingly herculean.
You’re supposed to make sure that you write at least 100 words a day in order to prep a book. Well, some days I hit that high note. Other days I manage to reach above. Then there are the days when I’m at -100. Like today, for instance.
Just writing this tiny little blog with its dull observations is a horrendous slog. It really is. Even that bit. Although, to be honest now it’s getting a little easier as I’m the closest I can get to just tapping words out randomly on a page.
At school I used to love writing essays in English when they were about Dragons made of milk or alien castles or other planets in a cupboard. The moment the teacher did the oft utilised ‘Write what you did on your summer holidays’ I would grind to a perplexed halt with a resounding sigh. I think some of that will explain why my blog has always been a little bit distracted or notably absent. In terms of pure fiction writing – well I think that side of me comes into play when the world has begun to take shape and I need to start filling in the gaps.
With Mythomania I had about 25 years of vague ideas, names of people and places and in the course of a couple of months I threw together a brief outline and plunged straight into it. It was fairly coherent for a while but as anyone who’s read it will attest (that would be my Dad and my best friend) it fell completely apart at the last hurdle. However, I was by then already moving on with the next book in line where I promised myself some of the answers would come. They never did – just more questions. I would have done well writing scripts for Lost.
I’ve done the same thing with the Limbus stuff. A barrage of ideas have come together in a reasonably sound way. However, this time I’m stepping back and going ‘Right. Okay so why does this character want to do this and what colour is the moon and what type of architecture is there for this place and why would so and so realistically want to do this and how are they going to get from here to here if the spaghetti is already dead?’…and it’s all starting to feel a bit properly real to me. Like I’m having some kind of summer holiday in Limbus. So, you can see where it’s going.
I have approx. 4 weeks to get more of an act into gear before I have to attempt the very first draft of the very first book. That might also be part of the problem. Over the course of 5 books (That is a number I am pretty sure will remain static. Pretty sure…) I have to provide structured narrative for multiple persons and events that will somehow each entertain and then link up to provide a satisfying conclusion. I’ve already planned out the ‘fairly’ satisfying conclusion to some extent. It’s the figuring out from A-B-C-D-E that comes next.
I’m not going to throw too much behind the NaNoWriMo draft but (as you’ve probably noticed) it is stoking high levels of anxiety in me. Every time I think I’ve unlocked a path I get hit by several dozen ‘but whys’ and have to go and have a lie down in a darkened room. I keep telling myself that if I just give it a go based on the information I have already then it will probably help me understand where I’m going for the next level of research. For at the moment, I think this is a children’s book. However, when I start writing it I may find that it isn’t that at all. It may be an adult western. I’m intending to play Red Dead Redemption 2 that same month, so who knows?
My son has no concept of this, no matter how many times I explain. I think it’s because he’s 7 years old and thinks books appear out of thin air. Technically, if you order via Amazon Prime – they do. He just ignores my whinging and keeps egging me on to just get it done. Maybe I should just take his advice, shut up and get on with it.
One day, people outside of my immediate family and friends may get the chance to read something I’ve done. They may even like it. You never know.